Spare by Prince Harry
Spare Hardcover – January 10, 2023
From the United States
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 12, 2023
As it begins, Spare feels like a memoir for the Class of 2003. (Which I am.) I’m Harry’s age, my mother reminded me of Diana. My parents divorced. I was thoroughly a child of the 90s. Standing in grocery check-out lines at direct eye height, I read the covers of every tabloid and magazine each week shopping with whatever parent I was with. Diana’s death rocked me as a 12 year old American girl. Then, through middle school, both princes featured heavily on Tiger Beat and BOP. They were as pop culture as the Spice Girls to us.
I know Harry’s story about the British press to be true because, I, a lowly consumer of said media watched it all as it happened in real time from the time I could watch TV. All of us in the public have had the information pushed on us all our (Gen X onward) lives. The unhealthy obsession with celebrity and the ongoing tragedy that causes real people in real life.
As the story wraps on, you begin to feel like you’re sitting down with an old friend you haven’t seen in years having a drink, listening to the best stories you’ve ever heard a friend tell.
Especially for listeners of the audiobook, it is an immersive experience into the building blocks of a life those of us who’ve given it much thought could only dream of having context and perspective to: modern monarchy. As an anthropologist and archaeologist primarily engrossed with insular and Atlantic Europe from the Neolithic to the end of Roman occupation, the stories that give us record to track ourselves over vast times is a gift. And surviving very often in our written record are tales of our dynasties and the families behind them.
The gods don’t choose these people but in a way, we all have contributed to it collectively. Wherever our ancestors have been, they’ve been touched by a decision influenced or dictated by this particular one. Which is why from the even broader picture, Harry’s book will be referenced in time beyond as future generations look back on this era to understand it from that historical particularism of a second hand emic view.
By the end of the book, the story meets it’s plaited theme in one perfect idea. A hope for life, not just survival. Many people my age are currently breaking their own generational curses and cycles of abuse, and abusive the BRF absolutely is - but it absolutely doesn’t have to be. So I relate to that. I’ve had similar struggles with my own family. Unhealed people will always yearn for the version of you that was easiest to control. I don’t doubt the pain and emotional distress the King and William have experienced. It is a hard thing to comprehend and so easy to blame someone else.
Bravo to Harry for contributing an accessible perspective to the public told in an entertaining and genuine way.
I know Harry’s story about the British press to be true because, I, a lowly consumer of said media watched it all as it happened in real time from the time I could watch TV. All of us in the public have had the information pushed on us all our (Gen X onward) lives. The unhealthy obsession with celebrity and the ongoing tragedy that causes real people in real life.
As the story wraps on, you begin to feel like you’re sitting down with an old friend you haven’t seen in years having a drink, listening to the best stories you’ve ever heard a friend tell.
Especially for listeners of the audiobook, it is an immersive experience into the building blocks of a life those of us who’ve given it much thought could only dream of having context and perspective to: modern monarchy. As an anthropologist and archaeologist primarily engrossed with insular and Atlantic Europe from the Neolithic to the end of Roman occupation, the stories that give us record to track ourselves over vast times is a gift. And surviving very often in our written record are tales of our dynasties and the families behind them.
The gods don’t choose these people but in a way, we all have contributed to it collectively. Wherever our ancestors have been, they’ve been touched by a decision influenced or dictated by this particular one. Which is why from the even broader picture, Harry’s book will be referenced in time beyond as future generations look back on this era to understand it from that historical particularism of a second hand emic view.
By the end of the book, the story meets it’s plaited theme in one perfect idea. A hope for life, not just survival. Many people my age are currently breaking their own generational curses and cycles of abuse, and abusive the BRF absolutely is - but it absolutely doesn’t have to be. So I relate to that. I’ve had similar struggles with my own family. Unhealed people will always yearn for the version of you that was easiest to control. I don’t doubt the pain and emotional distress the King and William have experienced. It is a hard thing to comprehend and so easy to blame someone else.
Bravo to Harry for contributing an accessible perspective to the public told in an entertaining and genuine way.
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 13, 2023
The Royal family, with all of it's wealth, perks, and privilege have truly been revealed to be just as dysfunctional and stunted of emotion and sacrificing love as many we have grown up in. This is is a book I could barely leave to get something to eat and start again. It cracked me up with Kate and her hormones. I mean really, she needs to take a step back collect herself a bit. They expect Megan to respect British tradition, protocol, and views, but they need to show understanding, respect, and just plain kindness for a person that they are causing so much pain to. My family are British and my mom
adored Diana and had deep respect for the Queen. Charles and Camilla are a whole different matter. It broke my heart to learn that William places Institution above their relationship. The one person on this planet that could understand what the internal pain losing their mother felt like, having to walk in front of billions of people. And how important the desire would be to protect their loved ones from the press. They knew how exposed they were and thrown to the wolves by their own completely self absorbed father and that leach attached to him. None of this, including Diana being killed would have happened if she had any self respect or respect for the institution. But she refused to take her claws out of that goal. The dynamics between William and Harry can be definite sibling rivalry, but to know that your wife and child's safety and life are at constant threat by the "family" intentionally causing it to save themselves some bad press, really???!!!! What choice does Harry have???? I give him all the credit in the world for being a real man and making choices for his wife and children and putting them first. This book is at times very raw, funny, heartbreaking, and just a truthful purging of his life from his own mouth and heart. The press has made billions of dollars off of the life and death of his mother and he and William, and their families. It's about time for him to tell HIS story and if he can support his family and provide the home, protection, and safety they need, then bravo!!!! At least he is supporting himself and having millions and living a lavish lifestyle while mooching off the public, whilst people have real jobs like the NHS workers and others killing themselves while struggling to pay the bills. They are irrelevant but don't want to lose the public purse so they don't have to open their own. He didn't want to stay in that toxic environment it is clear. He has a deep love for his family it's clear, but has a sense of the right and wrong ways to treat the people you claim to love. I wish Harry and Megan and their little ones happiness and peace and to be safe. You were always my favorite Harry and now more than ever!!
adored Diana and had deep respect for the Queen. Charles and Camilla are a whole different matter. It broke my heart to learn that William places Institution above their relationship. The one person on this planet that could understand what the internal pain losing their mother felt like, having to walk in front of billions of people. And how important the desire would be to protect their loved ones from the press. They knew how exposed they were and thrown to the wolves by their own completely self absorbed father and that leach attached to him. None of this, including Diana being killed would have happened if she had any self respect or respect for the institution. But she refused to take her claws out of that goal. The dynamics between William and Harry can be definite sibling rivalry, but to know that your wife and child's safety and life are at constant threat by the "family" intentionally causing it to save themselves some bad press, really???!!!! What choice does Harry have???? I give him all the credit in the world for being a real man and making choices for his wife and children and putting them first. This book is at times very raw, funny, heartbreaking, and just a truthful purging of his life from his own mouth and heart. The press has made billions of dollars off of the life and death of his mother and he and William, and their families. It's about time for him to tell HIS story and if he can support his family and provide the home, protection, and safety they need, then bravo!!!! At least he is supporting himself and having millions and living a lavish lifestyle while mooching off the public, whilst people have real jobs like the NHS workers and others killing themselves while struggling to pay the bills. They are irrelevant but don't want to lose the public purse so they don't have to open their own. He didn't want to stay in that toxic environment it is clear. He has a deep love for his family it's clear, but has a sense of the right and wrong ways to treat the people you claim to love. I wish Harry and Megan and their little ones happiness and peace and to be safe. You were always my favorite Harry and now more than ever!!
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 11, 2023
I don’t really read these kinds of books. I’m addicted to sci fi and historical romance and intake most my gossip/nonfiction news from social media mediums and independent research (Tik Tok and Twitter). I don’t think I’ve ever read a biography, autobiography, or memoir outside of an educational setting. I picked this up just bc I was interested in all the weird excerpts the media put all over headlines in the days leading up. I’m also a big supporter of evaluating primary sources first-hand as my liberal arts bachelors degree taught me before I form opinions. I expected a celebrity tell-all gossip piece..
BUT, this piece took my breath away. I read it in one night and went through so many emotions. I had to put it down multiple times to laugh, cry, and self reflect. Well-done to Harry taking the hard step to be vulnerable to the world in his own way and taking control of his narrative and his writer is absolutely so talented. The writer is so magnificent, I cannot say it enough.
This book is going to be analyzed in classrooms, positively, negatively, analytically one day as it touches on coming-of age, literature and motifs, the most recent war, and a love story and a social and political discourse on British press and its relationship with the Palace. People are going to be talking about this book for ages and as Meghan and Harry seem to be really polarizing to some. I recommend anyone supporter or not, British or American, read this book first and form your own opinions. Clear your mind of the bias from what you know of Harry from the press and media and read it about a story of a boy growing into a man. It’s really quite good when you look past you’re own biases.
Harry’s really grown when it comes to his own biases and privilege and this book really explores that growth in a first person POV that also causes to reader to take a step back and evaluate themselves but I do think he needs to sit on his support of a Monarchy a bit more lol…it was nice as an American to understand British culture a bit more though and I feel like I was able to put myself in the other Royals shoes and humanize them as well! Since Meghan and Harry are the only ones who we’ve been able to authentically hear from as of late.
I know a lot of people will speak on his chapters of his experiences in the war negatively, and to be honest. I wasn’t expecting that kind of candor and rawness and it resonated with me but in a introspectively beneficial way..as someone who is currently in the neo-stage of their military officer career (I only joined because I wanted to be a leader and get college paid but I’ve been more introspective on leadership and military more lately) I had to take military history classes when I was in college, I read many textbooks and memories who recount experiences similar to his from the civil war, Vietnam and WW1/2 perspective and we analyzed them relentlessly…but I haven’t seen a lot of memoirs from veterans from the War on Terror or from non-Americans. With the peacetime the U.S. is in I guess I doubt I’ll be serving long enough to ever experience the trauma he went through and it helps me understand the PTSD of modern soldiers and those veteran NCOs I work with. That section made me really introspective about the military and the way we’re trained and the discourse around the ethics of it even though his military experience is from a different country. (Side note this really helped me realize how important OPSEC is lol I literally screamed OPSEC at the book at one point).
I enjoy the way he recounted his childhood and his relationship with his family. It was very tactful and well-written and I think every comment that a tabloid has pulled as “offensive” out of context was balanced out throughout the book as we really delved into the nuances of family and our childhoods. The people he mentions in this book are not just characters and celebrities in a show or tabloid but real people who are multifaceted and there is no antagonist and protagonist in real life.
He also kept it spicy with the funny TMI moments about his social life and ~extracurricular~ activities. The random celebrity name drops were hilarious to me with his sarcastic tone and obviously not ill-mannered or narcissistic as I saw some implied. I think that was the perfect amount of comedy and tiny factoids that are ultimately harmless and affect no one except entertain the reader. I’m a very TMI person and the way he exposed embarrassing moments is the way I talk to my inner circle of friends and I felt like I was listening to a friend tell me a story on girls night. I saw on Twitter people were offended by the TMI but let’s be honest, if he hadn’t left in the spicy/funny comments people would have just said his memoir is boring and a waste of money and money-seeking. I’m sure there are plenty of other TMI details of his life that are private and he did not share. Everything he shared that people called “TMI” is inconsequential to the audience and only there to entertain comedic relief amongst the other dark themes in this book. This probably went through hella reviews and many consultations to make sure it wasn’t too out there.
I could ramble forever about this book…I wanna join like a book club or reddit to discuss it. This is truly one of my favorite reads in like the last ten years. I may have separate opinions about the Harry v. the Monarchy discourse but I just want to endorse the book is SUCH a good read anyways for those on edge.
BUT, this piece took my breath away. I read it in one night and went through so many emotions. I had to put it down multiple times to laugh, cry, and self reflect. Well-done to Harry taking the hard step to be vulnerable to the world in his own way and taking control of his narrative and his writer is absolutely so talented. The writer is so magnificent, I cannot say it enough.
This book is going to be analyzed in classrooms, positively, negatively, analytically one day as it touches on coming-of age, literature and motifs, the most recent war, and a love story and a social and political discourse on British press and its relationship with the Palace. People are going to be talking about this book for ages and as Meghan and Harry seem to be really polarizing to some. I recommend anyone supporter or not, British or American, read this book first and form your own opinions. Clear your mind of the bias from what you know of Harry from the press and media and read it about a story of a boy growing into a man. It’s really quite good when you look past you’re own biases.
Harry’s really grown when it comes to his own biases and privilege and this book really explores that growth in a first person POV that also causes to reader to take a step back and evaluate themselves but I do think he needs to sit on his support of a Monarchy a bit more lol…it was nice as an American to understand British culture a bit more though and I feel like I was able to put myself in the other Royals shoes and humanize them as well! Since Meghan and Harry are the only ones who we’ve been able to authentically hear from as of late.
I know a lot of people will speak on his chapters of his experiences in the war negatively, and to be honest. I wasn’t expecting that kind of candor and rawness and it resonated with me but in a introspectively beneficial way..as someone who is currently in the neo-stage of their military officer career (I only joined because I wanted to be a leader and get college paid but I’ve been more introspective on leadership and military more lately) I had to take military history classes when I was in college, I read many textbooks and memories who recount experiences similar to his from the civil war, Vietnam and WW1/2 perspective and we analyzed them relentlessly…but I haven’t seen a lot of memoirs from veterans from the War on Terror or from non-Americans. With the peacetime the U.S. is in I guess I doubt I’ll be serving long enough to ever experience the trauma he went through and it helps me understand the PTSD of modern soldiers and those veteran NCOs I work with. That section made me really introspective about the military and the way we’re trained and the discourse around the ethics of it even though his military experience is from a different country. (Side note this really helped me realize how important OPSEC is lol I literally screamed OPSEC at the book at one point).
I enjoy the way he recounted his childhood and his relationship with his family. It was very tactful and well-written and I think every comment that a tabloid has pulled as “offensive” out of context was balanced out throughout the book as we really delved into the nuances of family and our childhoods. The people he mentions in this book are not just characters and celebrities in a show or tabloid but real people who are multifaceted and there is no antagonist and protagonist in real life.
He also kept it spicy with the funny TMI moments about his social life and ~extracurricular~ activities. The random celebrity name drops were hilarious to me with his sarcastic tone and obviously not ill-mannered or narcissistic as I saw some implied. I think that was the perfect amount of comedy and tiny factoids that are ultimately harmless and affect no one except entertain the reader. I’m a very TMI person and the way he exposed embarrassing moments is the way I talk to my inner circle of friends and I felt like I was listening to a friend tell me a story on girls night. I saw on Twitter people were offended by the TMI but let’s be honest, if he hadn’t left in the spicy/funny comments people would have just said his memoir is boring and a waste of money and money-seeking. I’m sure there are plenty of other TMI details of his life that are private and he did not share. Everything he shared that people called “TMI” is inconsequential to the audience and only there to entertain comedic relief amongst the other dark themes in this book. This probably went through hella reviews and many consultations to make sure it wasn’t too out there.
I could ramble forever about this book…I wanna join like a book club or reddit to discuss it. This is truly one of my favorite reads in like the last ten years. I may have separate opinions about the Harry v. the Monarchy discourse but I just want to endorse the book is SUCH a good read anyways for those on edge.
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 13, 2023
I'm not quite finished with the book. I purchased both the Kindle and the Audible versions so I can switch back and forth. So far, I'm finding this to be an incredible read! Harry really lays open his soul and life's journey, vulnerable and exposed, so we can read and dissect it.
Many have pointed to the more salacious parts of the book and have wondered why Harry would add them to his memoir. I get it though... why share your truth if you won't be completely honest with yourself and others? Harry talks about being in therapy for some years now. I suppose he's used to this kind of disclosure by now. It's hard work: so painful and raw to discuss trauma, grief, and isolation. It's also very brave! I for one, am very grateful that Harry has shared his journey with us!
The Audible version is great fun for the portion of the narrative that's funny and light. Harry is such an animated and engaging narrator, too! I found that 3-4 hours went by in a snap! But there were certain parts in the narrative where I had to switch from Audible to Kindle. I felt profound sadness, was struck by what was being said, and needed to sit in silence for a bit and take in the moment. A good book can and should do that for the reader. I found myself, incredulous and heartbroken reflecting on how Harry was told that his mother had died, and on the moments and hours that followed. In another passage, detailing the aftermath of the infamous Nazi uniform incident and Harry's meeting with the Chief Rabbi of Britain, the Rabbi's sage message to him left me thinking about accountability, grace, forgiveness, and healing.
I can go on, there's so many thought provoking passages to list. Harry has taken us on his incredible journey of grief, anger, pain, sorrow, grace and complicated family dynamics from childhood to present day. In the process of reading it and digesting it, I've learned a lot about myself as well. These themes are universal, afterall all.
Thank you, Harry! I wish you comfort and happiness along your future path.
Many have pointed to the more salacious parts of the book and have wondered why Harry would add them to his memoir. I get it though... why share your truth if you won't be completely honest with yourself and others? Harry talks about being in therapy for some years now. I suppose he's used to this kind of disclosure by now. It's hard work: so painful and raw to discuss trauma, grief, and isolation. It's also very brave! I for one, am very grateful that Harry has shared his journey with us!
The Audible version is great fun for the portion of the narrative that's funny and light. Harry is such an animated and engaging narrator, too! I found that 3-4 hours went by in a snap! But there were certain parts in the narrative where I had to switch from Audible to Kindle. I felt profound sadness, was struck by what was being said, and needed to sit in silence for a bit and take in the moment. A good book can and should do that for the reader. I found myself, incredulous and heartbroken reflecting on how Harry was told that his mother had died, and on the moments and hours that followed. In another passage, detailing the aftermath of the infamous Nazi uniform incident and Harry's meeting with the Chief Rabbi of Britain, the Rabbi's sage message to him left me thinking about accountability, grace, forgiveness, and healing.
I can go on, there's so many thought provoking passages to list. Harry has taken us on his incredible journey of grief, anger, pain, sorrow, grace and complicated family dynamics from childhood to present day. In the process of reading it and digesting it, I've learned a lot about myself as well. These themes are universal, afterall all.
Thank you, Harry! I wish you comfort and happiness along your future path.
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 14, 2023
The best stories reach people on multiple planes: they are entertaining at a basic level, while also telling a more profound story that sheds light on aspects of the world that we might not have otherwise known about. Spare on the surface appears as a titillating tell-all about one of the most famous celebrities in the world, a prince born of the iconic Diana, Princess of Wales, and grandson of the Queen of England. We read about the prince’s embarrassing and wild escapades, his frostbitten naughty parts, and other tabloid-level fare. But the book is so much more than that. It is about the tragic longing of a lonely and confused boy who never got the proper help he needed after his mother’s death. And as all good stories have a villain, the villain in this book, haunting the struggling boy through every stage of his life, is Rupert Murdoch and his wretched media minions.
For that is what this book really is about. The savage, destructive, and evil disinformation machine that plagued Harry is a threat to our entire civilization. What they did to Diana, what they are doing to Harry and his wife, they have done to all of Britain and the United States. These media monsters have destroyed any semblance of a shared reality among us, have divided us and manipulated us with disinformation about the world around us as surely as they have lied about and manipulated Harry and his family. This book uses the Royal Family’s relationship with the tabloid press as an allegory to the mechanizations of the media disinformation machine against our civilization. This is not hyperbole. And no one in the Royal Family is safe from these monsters—they all, all of them, are threatened and controlled by this fake news cartel.
It is not necessary to be a fan of Prince Harry to appreciate the larger scope of this book. I recommend it to anyone who’d like a closer look at the methods Murdoch and his cohort use to lie to and manipulate us.
For that is what this book really is about. The savage, destructive, and evil disinformation machine that plagued Harry is a threat to our entire civilization. What they did to Diana, what they are doing to Harry and his wife, they have done to all of Britain and the United States. These media monsters have destroyed any semblance of a shared reality among us, have divided us and manipulated us with disinformation about the world around us as surely as they have lied about and manipulated Harry and his family. This book uses the Royal Family’s relationship with the tabloid press as an allegory to the mechanizations of the media disinformation machine against our civilization. This is not hyperbole. And no one in the Royal Family is safe from these monsters—they all, all of them, are threatened and controlled by this fake news cartel.
It is not necessary to be a fan of Prince Harry to appreciate the larger scope of this book. I recommend it to anyone who’d like a closer look at the methods Murdoch and his cohort use to lie to and manipulate us.
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 13, 2023
I wondered if Harry was going to blast the the royal family for their treatment of him. Was it going to be a whiny-victim fest? It was not. Reading the book led me to feel sad for them all. I can hear the love and the pain that resides in the souls of all of Harry's family. Harry's love for his family is evident throughout the book. I could see how much Harry appreciated his dad's loving words and actions towards Harry in a number of situations. Harry used gentle words to describe these scenarios. So many years ago, I remember watching Harry and William greeting the crowd and walking behind their mom's coffin. It seemed cruel- How could they do this to these boys? I remember wondering who in the world thought that was a good idea. Throughout his life, Harry has only wanted to be free to just walk somewhere without being harassed, stalked, and photographed. He just wanted to be a normal person who could walk upon the earth in freedom. Harry never had a safe, personal space in which to just "be." No safe space to grieve and to heal. He now has that place and I am so happy that the United States has welcomed Harry and his family to live as they want to live. I wish the family well. I hope they can move past their differences and love one another in a spirit of acceptance and reconciliation. I also hope the family can read his book and see how much Harry loves and needs them in his life. I recommend this book if you like reading books about people figuring out their lives and wanting to move forward as they learn new ways to love one another.
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 13, 2023
Like almost everyone else, I've watched all the documentaries. All the shows and movies. The tweets the statements the photos the weddings. All of it... Never could I have imagined this book.
It has been such a long time since I read a new book that hit me this deeply. While all reading is subjective, I feel confident in saying this was one of the most beautifully written pieces I have ever gotten to read. From page one I was in rapture.
Harry's story, the one we all know so well, is so deeply rooted in the human experience. Love, grief, triumph, setbacks.
What makes it incredible is not just seeing how a royal, a prince, spent his life fighting the same battles as we do, but hearing him tell this story without any connotation of special circumstances. Harry, the boy who wanted to live an average life of family friends and a little fun along the way. Harry, the man who wanted nothing more than to help people, be truthful to people, to do the work and go home. Just Harry.
Through it all, and after everything, this book feels like another way of trying to reach people. With love, with understanding, with camaraderie and solidarity. For a man and a family) that's been through so much there's healing and connection on every page.
I have so many words, I have no words. I can't imagine ever telling someone not to immediately read this.
It has been such a long time since I read a new book that hit me this deeply. While all reading is subjective, I feel confident in saying this was one of the most beautifully written pieces I have ever gotten to read. From page one I was in rapture.
Harry's story, the one we all know so well, is so deeply rooted in the human experience. Love, grief, triumph, setbacks.
What makes it incredible is not just seeing how a royal, a prince, spent his life fighting the same battles as we do, but hearing him tell this story without any connotation of special circumstances. Harry, the boy who wanted to live an average life of family friends and a little fun along the way. Harry, the man who wanted nothing more than to help people, be truthful to people, to do the work and go home. Just Harry.
Through it all, and after everything, this book feels like another way of trying to reach people. With love, with understanding, with camaraderie and solidarity. For a man and a family) that's been through so much there's healing and connection on every page.
I have so many words, I have no words. I can't imagine ever telling someone not to immediately read this.
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 11, 2023
I always found Prince Harry interesting, he always stood out to me in pictures, probably the proximity in age. My mom was a huge, huge fan of Lady Di so I was familiar. Growing up, I remember the press always made him out to be the naughty younger brother, to me he was like the Home Alone kid. I definitely liked him, but reading his story made feel very saddened. He’s a bit childlike at times, which is understandable. I truly empathize and the book changed my perspective.
To be 100% honest, I bought the book out of curiosity because the media, even the ones who seem objective like the NYT, try so hard to tell us we should move on, that Meghan and Harry have nothing to say. I agree Meghan has nothing to say. I’m sorry Meghan, your story’s just meh.
Prince Harry though is another story. He is no Shakespeare, truth be told. But wow… a kid with all of that wealth and privilege who was so unloved. He doesn’t say it, but that’s it. He was unloved, to him the only person who truly loved him was his mom (and probably Meghan now). He lost that person who truly, truly loved him. How can anyone not expect him to overreact when he feels like he will lose the second person who he thinks loves him most? Of course he will fight to protect it. He talks about his mental health, he is not perfect, this is a flawed human being…like most of us, no?
He had a terrible, terrible life that was and is a circus. He did not choose that lifestyle, it was forced on him. He did not choose to be born, much less into that family. He has all the right in the world to get out of it, and tell this story.
I was unloved and I felt it, I know what it feels like to be misunderstood but worst of all for your family not to care enough about you to understand you. To have no one to share, or if you shared or opened up there would be emotional consequences. And I think no one that has not distinctly gone through that can understand the pain (and confusion) it causes.
Harry had all the material stuff in the world. Yes, he had the best life, education, everything money could buy. But he had a broken home life, a depressed and sometimes suicidal mother, a virtually emotionally absent father, and a completely ridiculous extended family. Plus, a media circus that was out there waiting for him to mess up. All the time. 24/7. How can anyone say that’s not a big deal…
I hope this book brings him closure. I hope he moves on with his life and becomes a better father to his children than his father was to him. And I hope he becomes the person he wanted, the opposite of the naughty child the press wanted him to be. But this was a necessary telling of his story, if someone with as much privilege as Royal has such a heartbreakingly cold and sad upbringing, can we keep calling it privilege? He has no right to complain just because he was born into a family with a lot, a lot of money? That’s sad.
To be 100% honest, I bought the book out of curiosity because the media, even the ones who seem objective like the NYT, try so hard to tell us we should move on, that Meghan and Harry have nothing to say. I agree Meghan has nothing to say. I’m sorry Meghan, your story’s just meh.
Prince Harry though is another story. He is no Shakespeare, truth be told. But wow… a kid with all of that wealth and privilege who was so unloved. He doesn’t say it, but that’s it. He was unloved, to him the only person who truly loved him was his mom (and probably Meghan now). He lost that person who truly, truly loved him. How can anyone not expect him to overreact when he feels like he will lose the second person who he thinks loves him most? Of course he will fight to protect it. He talks about his mental health, he is not perfect, this is a flawed human being…like most of us, no?
He had a terrible, terrible life that was and is a circus. He did not choose that lifestyle, it was forced on him. He did not choose to be born, much less into that family. He has all the right in the world to get out of it, and tell this story.
I was unloved and I felt it, I know what it feels like to be misunderstood but worst of all for your family not to care enough about you to understand you. To have no one to share, or if you shared or opened up there would be emotional consequences. And I think no one that has not distinctly gone through that can understand the pain (and confusion) it causes.
Harry had all the material stuff in the world. Yes, he had the best life, education, everything money could buy. But he had a broken home life, a depressed and sometimes suicidal mother, a virtually emotionally absent father, and a completely ridiculous extended family. Plus, a media circus that was out there waiting for him to mess up. All the time. 24/7. How can anyone say that’s not a big deal…
I hope this book brings him closure. I hope he moves on with his life and becomes a better father to his children than his father was to him. And I hope he becomes the person he wanted, the opposite of the naughty child the press wanted him to be. But this was a necessary telling of his story, if someone with as much privilege as Royal has such a heartbreakingly cold and sad upbringing, can we keep calling it privilege? He has no right to complain just because he was born into a family with a lot, a lot of money? That’s sad.
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 10, 2023
I had to take a break from writing this review to separate my two sons. It seems one has pushed the other over in some sort of disagreement…Such is the nature of brothers, of siblings, of families.
Prince Harry’s memoir is equal parts refreshingly and cringe-worthily honest. It leaves no stone unturned, and in that lies its greatness and its tragedy.
Like any family, Prince Harry’s is a mix of differing personalities and quirks, but unlike every family they are a part of a 1000 year institution- in which the expectations, customs, and formality run deep. In fact he is in a position so unlike any other human that this is almost a must-read. But it’s more of a curiosity satisfier- and when you’re done you kind of get the feeling you do when you accidentally open a restroom stall and someone is using it. You politely want to apologize excuse yourself from their business…
What I liked- the Prince’s detailed account in falling in love with Meghan Markle. Marrying into a family culturally different than you is no easy feat- and I can’t imagine the learning curve she had to face- mostly alone. Her feelings of isolation and despair come across clearly. This is a man who truly loves his wife. Perhaps, as the late, remarkable Queen purportedly stated, maybe a little ‘over in love.’
I also truly felt the Prince captured the pain of losing his beloved mother, in the most tragic of circumstances, poignantly and honestly. In that he does a service to those also suffering grief (i.e.-all of us). His openness and willingness to receiving mental health services is admirable and I believe will help many. (If only all were able to access the kinds of treatment and mental health support the Prince did, but I digress…)
What I didn’t like:
There is sharing and then there is over-sharing. (Hence, me feeling like I accidentally walked in on him in the restroom, indisposed). I don’t need/want to know the details of his ‘first time,’ while his military service is laudable, discussing the number of Taliban fighters he killed was in poor taste, and the tiny snippets he throws in regarding Kate seem rather petty.
As a woman who admires both Kate and Meghan, I felt he was perhaps unintentionally adding to the common trope that women must always be jealous and fighting.
Much of his disdain is aimed at the British press, and I can’t deny it is likely a brutal and ugly business. But perhaps too much disdain is aimed at his family as well- imperfect as they are.
While I’m certain there was a level of catharsis in writing this memoir, I worry that the long term consequences will far outweigh any positive outcomes from such a blistering account. My prayers to this entire family as they navigate these tough waters, that have now seemingly become even more treacherous.
Prince Harry’s memoir is equal parts refreshingly and cringe-worthily honest. It leaves no stone unturned, and in that lies its greatness and its tragedy.
Like any family, Prince Harry’s is a mix of differing personalities and quirks, but unlike every family they are a part of a 1000 year institution- in which the expectations, customs, and formality run deep. In fact he is in a position so unlike any other human that this is almost a must-read. But it’s more of a curiosity satisfier- and when you’re done you kind of get the feeling you do when you accidentally open a restroom stall and someone is using it. You politely want to apologize excuse yourself from their business…
What I liked- the Prince’s detailed account in falling in love with Meghan Markle. Marrying into a family culturally different than you is no easy feat- and I can’t imagine the learning curve she had to face- mostly alone. Her feelings of isolation and despair come across clearly. This is a man who truly loves his wife. Perhaps, as the late, remarkable Queen purportedly stated, maybe a little ‘over in love.’
I also truly felt the Prince captured the pain of losing his beloved mother, in the most tragic of circumstances, poignantly and honestly. In that he does a service to those also suffering grief (i.e.-all of us). His openness and willingness to receiving mental health services is admirable and I believe will help many. (If only all were able to access the kinds of treatment and mental health support the Prince did, but I digress…)
What I didn’t like:
There is sharing and then there is over-sharing. (Hence, me feeling like I accidentally walked in on him in the restroom, indisposed). I don’t need/want to know the details of his ‘first time,’ while his military service is laudable, discussing the number of Taliban fighters he killed was in poor taste, and the tiny snippets he throws in regarding Kate seem rather petty.
As a woman who admires both Kate and Meghan, I felt he was perhaps unintentionally adding to the common trope that women must always be jealous and fighting.
Much of his disdain is aimed at the British press, and I can’t deny it is likely a brutal and ugly business. But perhaps too much disdain is aimed at his family as well- imperfect as they are.
While I’m certain there was a level of catharsis in writing this memoir, I worry that the long term consequences will far outweigh any positive outcomes from such a blistering account. My prayers to this entire family as they navigate these tough waters, that have now seemingly become even more treacherous.
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 13, 2023
After reading SPARE, my heart breaks for Prince Harry. Though he has many flaws, which he openly and honestly shares with the reader, he is above all else a human being. Unlike what the British press and some unkind "royal experts" have said, he doesn’t throw members of his family under the bus. His father, the King, comes off much better than I thought he would, and Harry says nothing unkind towards the late Queen. He is most critical, and rightly so, of the British press, the paparazzi, and the scheming palace insiders who leak false stories about one royal in order to take the heat off another. Harry details how unfairly his wife has been treated in comparison to other Royals, particularly Kate. Google avocados if you don’t believe me.
SPARE isn’t about Harry’s grievances or exacting revenge upon his family. Far from it. This is the story of the emotional implications of a child losing his mother at such a critical age and how that follows you throughout your life. This is one man's journey, often bordering on self-destruction, to break free from his fears and toxicity to find a more peaceful existence.
SPARE is going to stir up emotions, and this review will not be popular with everyone. However, I urge you, regardless of how you feel about Harry and Meghan, to read it with an open mind.
SPARE isn’t about Harry’s grievances or exacting revenge upon his family. Far from it. This is the story of the emotional implications of a child losing his mother at such a critical age and how that follows you throughout your life. This is one man's journey, often bordering on self-destruction, to break free from his fears and toxicity to find a more peaceful existence.
SPARE is going to stir up emotions, and this review will not be popular with everyone. However, I urge you, regardless of how you feel about Harry and Meghan, to read it with an open mind.
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